The Continuing Adventures of Tornado Girl
THE GREEN FAIRY
"You think you're so smart," said Tornado Girl irritably. "Why don't you come over here and say that, pipsqueak?"
"Why don't you make me, toots?" answered the Green Fairy. "After all, I'm just a figment of your imagination."
"Oh! That's right! I forgot." Tornado Girl sank lower in her chair and hoped that she wasn't being conspicuous. But everyone else at the Plank & Udder public house was watching the midget wrestlers in the sand pit, and no one spared a second glance at the superheroine sitting in the back corner nursing a bottle of absinthe and a bag of Andy Capp's hot fries.
The Green Fairy, fluttering lightly over the other end of the table, her delicate wings an emerald blur, enjoyed teasing Tornado Girl and frequently materialized to do so, flashing out of the absinthe louche. "I'm just saying, those snacks aren't doing any good for your figure. You want to end up as wide as Pie Wagon Woman?"
The Vixen of Velocity reached for the Green Fairy but once again the sprite danced away, keeping just out of reach, batting her wings saucily. "Ha-ha! Not so fast after your fourth glass, are you? Good thing the Iron Lung isn't here now."
"I can blow the Iron Lung away on my worst day. You sure are uppity for my own imagination."
"You know that voice inside your head? It's me! And every now and then, like when you go on an absinthe bender, I escape! And there's nothing you can do about it."
Tornado Girl didn't like the sound of that. So she pushed her bottle of La F?e Parisian aside and started drinking Jack Daniels, straight up, until Pinky her pink elephant appeared and stomped on the Green Fairy until her wings were crumpled and her little voice squeaked for mercy. Then finally the Funnel Femme had some peace and quiet, until the Iron Lung and a bunch of his Tornado Girl Revenge Squad cronies wandered by, and the pub was wrecked in the ensuing fight, and the next morning Tornado Girl was haunted by the three spirits of Teetotalism (Sickness, Remorse, and Abstention) -- but THAT is another tale.
Ciao!
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