My pig drank my Bloody Mary.

I get home from work and it's feeling a bit like fall, and I mix up a Bloody Mary and walk down the country road to our barn and swamp. The horse and pig are waiting for me at the gate, which I open. My pig is really big now and she has never made an aggressive move, but she likes to stand in the gate and not let me through. I still wonder if she'll bite me one day. Anyway I make it past her and walk by an old golf cart and lay my Bloody Mary down on the seat as I go to open the double doors to the barn. This is usually when the horse and pig take off running and bucking to go around the long way to get into their stalls to be fed. So I go into the barn and notice they're still standing there in the front, so I close the barn doors so they will get the message and go around to their stalls. I open the feed bin and start pouring horse feed and corn into their troughs... and no horse and no pig. I peek through the cracks of the barn door, and there is the pig with all four feet and her big fat self completely in the golf cart drinking MY Bloody Mary! I run out and stomp at her and she goes nuts and spills what's left of it, scrambles out of the golf cart, and runs a distance away and stops to look at me. I walk over and pick up the celery stalk and throw it at her, and she eats it. (You know there's an old swing instrumental called "Celery Stalks Along the Highway." I wonder if the song was born from some wild adventure). Then she comes over and licks the Bloody Mary off the seat.

So I will dream tonight of huge stampeding drunk pigs. I love her.