Wayne is an average guy - middle aged, slightly balding, always going to workout tomorrow. He has a job, a car that runs, and lives on a quiet street - Dogwood Lane. He's not gay, and he has no girlfriend. His hormones have been drained, and he has no life. Except a new instinct seems to be growing...

Here's his secret. His dog rules his mediocre miniscule world. Faux Pas is seemingly sweet and docile-looking to the outside world with his furry ears and slightly crooked tail that appears to always helicopter him around and was quite cute as a puppy when Wayne found him by the side of the road IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, but now Faux Pas totally dominates and bullies his owner into submission.

Wayne buys dog toys and milk bones as offerings when he should be paying his bills! He has bite and scratch marks from romping which he hides from his co-workers underneath his long-sleeved shirts and long pants (when he can even get out of the house at all). No shorts or t-shirts for Wayne.

He can't cook for himself or at least he can't cook and then eat it too. He can no longer cook the delicious vegetarian meals (which made him feel better about himself) that he alternated with greasy burgers and hotdogs. In fact, he must eat his dinner in a closet or the bathroom while Faux Pas licks the plate clean off the kitchen table. He sleeps on a blanket on the floor while his pet stretches across the pillows of the bed. Faux Pas has the remote.

Wayne has been growling more. At work. He became very protective of his lunch at Burger King on Thursday last week, and his ex-girlfriend's aunt saw him sniffing through a dumpster. He also gets very excited when it's time to ride in the car and rolls the windows down. He even jumped into the back of his nephew's pickup truck last Mother's Day on the way to the store before they told him there was plenty of room in the cab.

You would never guess that Faux Pas has a plan, to see him snoring belly up on the sofa. Soon the others can come. As soon as he figures out how to open the door... to the cosmos (without opposable thumbs).

The Rovers.